There are two ways to build long-term relationship

Raising children and family is a topic that is really not my cup of tea. When it comes to family, I have been a total failure so far. So Abdullah Green is the last person you want to get marital advice from.

In my DM I got a few comments on my previous post, though — particularly about the part where I wrote about how I want to raise my daughters and sons in Islamic society. That’s why I would like to clarify here that this is just my own beliefs. I don’t necessarily claim that they are all correct and “this is how YOU have to raise your kids!” [I would be a total idiot if I tried to impose my own views on somebody].

All I am doing here [on my blog] is sharing my thoughts for people who are actually interested in my piece of writings. Nothing else. So here is my little thought on raising children:

Building relationship with your kid is almost like building long-term relationship with your employee at work.

There is two ways for that:

1. Either you treat him like crap, emphasising on his mistakes, telling him how miserable he is. Eventually, he believes you, becomes psychologically insecure, and does what you want him to do.
2. Or you praise him, reminding him of his strengths, help him grow, help him achieve his goals. Eventually, he will genuinely love you and will do his best not to let you down.

I have experienced both types of parenting. And the “results” of the second way is much better.

Needless to say that our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) educated and raised his companions following this second way. Allah in Qur’an says to His Prophet [in surah Ali ‘Imran]:

“So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].” (3:159)

P.S. I figured it is good to finish this post with a verse from Qur’an 😉